August Edition: Reading, Writing, & Painting with Rhyme
From the Creative Notebook of Author & Artist GK Jurrens
RWPR Newsletter: August 2018 Edition
Did you get an advance copy of this newsletter in your email a few weeks ago? If you did, it’s because you’re one of the loyal subscribers to this blog. Thank you. If you didn’t but wish to be on the team, simply subscribe to this blog.
Why the complex title in this debut issue? Well, you’re likely to find a few spicy nuggets of interest here if you’re an avid reader, an author of prose or poetry, or are an aspiring or accomplished artist or illustrator with brushes (traditional or digital), or you create with quills—or a keyboard. Something for every one of you creatives, I’m hoping. Some who know me flirt with an alternative theory—I simply lack focus, a theory which may merit further study.
Shout-Outs: First, I’d like to offer a nod in the direction of two of my author friends who recently published their latest works:
- Judy Howard’s compelling autobiographical novel, “The Grieving Gift”
- New York Times bestselling author, Nick Russell, and the latest in his Big Lake series, “Big Lake Fugitive”
- Congrats on your recent five-star reviews. You guys rock. Power to independent publishers!
Future newsletter editions: I’d like to feature other news my author and reader friends are proud of, so if you’d like to make suggestions for future editions of this publication, please shoot me an old-fashioned email with specifics. I’d be delighted to consider including your faves.
Onward: Hey, you know me. I’m that obsessive guy from work you worry about who is always slaving away on half a dozen big projects, who never makes quite enough time for each of them, and then takes on a few more. Yeah, I’m that guy. Life is so short, and time is our most precious treasure—we dare not waste a second of it. Don’t you agree? I’m persistently plagued with a monumental sense of self-imposed urgency. One character defect that does not trouble me, however, is brevity. So if the somewhat unusual list of suspects I obsess over is of some interest to you, read on, intrepid readers.
In this issue:
- Release information for my new science fiction thriller, “Sanctuary 2.0”, and as a subscriber bonus, included below is not only the brief premise for the book (still too long—remember, you’re in on the ground floor here), but also a scene that introduces one of the more colorful characters,
- A title change for my debut novel, “Tarnished”, currently available as a Kindle (eBook) version, but I’d like to give you the chance to weigh in on a few alternative title options before I commit to the best one, and to paperback,
- An early peek at my newest project… wait for it… a book of poetry. Even if you’re not a huge fan of poetry, I think you’ll find the premise of this new book of interest, perhaps in a quirky way. I do know this is a risk for me. I must keep pushing! But this project will be different than any other book of poetry I’ve seen, and I’ll share with you why I think it will make a powerful statement. I’d also like to get your thoughts on the working title and the premise for this new book. Read on to sample one of my poems in this new book’s unique format.
- A reminder: I also curate a daily newsletter and publish a fresh issue each day to all my Twitter followers. I’m proud to feature dozens of wonderful contributors of book reviews, reading and writing blogs, and videos that piques interests. This newsletter is entitled, “Reading & Writing Fiction Daily – Make. Believe. Better.” Click here to browse a recent edition, and for access to archived editions.
- Some additional writing projects consuming my restless mind, just in case you’re interested in other stuff that drives my author-self toward bright-red insanity.
So let’s get started.
1. New Book: Sanctuary 2.0 (available soon)
First, “Sanctuary 2.0”, like “Tarnished” will be released worldwide on Amazon and Kobo, with a nod to Goodreads, first in a Kindle version—readable on any device with Kindle’s free reader app—within the next month. The paperback version will follow shortly after that. I thought you might be interested in the premise of the book:
Premise:
Daniel Morrissee, known as SeeMore online, sees everyone’s future, all at the same time, and it’s too much. Others call it a gift. To him, it’s a curse that threatens to steal what’s left of his ragged sanity. At sixteen, he joins Corporate Security Services. They throw him into combat during the Corporate Wars of the 2060s—governments are obsolete. Losing portions of both legs three weeks into his tour dumps more fuel onto the bonfire of SeeMore’s madness. But he refuses to give up.
A few tortured years later, he invents a technology that enables him to live in a different world. SeeMore calls it his CyberWorld, the CW, or just “the c-dub”. Neither his legs nor the rest of his body matter anymore, and he can filter his runaway mind.
Overnight, with this new tech, he learns how to control the madness. The excruciating noise screaming at him from all directions becomes his to command. With pictures of the future in his mind under control, SeeMore is unique and in demand. He puts those tools to work.
Then he meets Mysty Brass who is bombarded by everyone else’s thoughts in the present moment. His technology saves her life too. They fall in love, hire more geeks like themselves, and their c-dub (online) company becomes a runaway success.
Powerful adversaries seek to destroy their new life. Why? Because SeeMore and those around him are different, and they’re becoming influential. These people fear anything they can’t or won’t understand. SeeMore takes an impossible stand to defend his home—his sanctuary, the c-dub.
Worse, their planet is dying and the c-dub that SeeMore and his friends are creating might become a sanctuary for all humanity, even for those who seek to destroy them. But will they survive long enough to complete their dream? If they do, can they save humanity from itself and the world on which it perches, a place called Planet Earth?
Bonus excerpt, a scene from “Sanctuary 2.0”:
Another day, another paycheck. It was a living, but if Jaan Kilmorning was honest with himself, he wasn’t in it for the money. He loved the security game, the thrill of the chase.
Looking like a battle-hardened six-foot leprechaun with a penchant for pink four-leaf clovers—he welcomed commentary—Jaan fed his voracious appetite for daily action; well, almost daily.
He crossed between the real world (or r-dub) and the cyber world (c-dub) with alacrity pursuing his prey with enthusiasm. They could run, but they couldn’t hide. Not for long. And he verily dared anyone to deride his ever-present fuchsia wool scarf that wrapped thrice about his neck and hung to below his knees—one of the useful tools of his trade. If someone were to be so brash and foolish as to comment in the pejorative, he’d lead them directly down the evening-primrose path to oblivion, thank you very much—a good stretch of the arms and legs.
Jaan was old for his age at thirty-one. He’d danced with life in the streets and served two tours in the Wars. The Corp provided him with more business than necessary, but he wasn’t afraid to cut ’n run either. He’d do a lot, although there was much that drove too hard against his natural grain. Jaan was his own man. Not only did he make a good living, he could still stare back at his smirking thin-lipped WIC (white Irish Catholic) reflection every morning with pride.
Now the slivers in his calloused moral fingers gave him serious pause working for these Corporate wienies. They were contracting whacks on innocent civilians for, what… personal biases? That was bullshit from bullies who had elevated their craft to an art form.
During his morning routine, which followed brief rest periods sprinkled between long working hours, he reflected on his career. Never did he want to work long-term for anybody, no matter the cut of his cloth.
He didn’t indulge in as many dust-offs as some—he considered it wasteful. Besides, he was a loner and not into pleasing others. Most of the time, he was just c-dubbin’ anyway. He liked his avatar, flaming red stubble and all, modeled after a retro street dick from the early twenty-first century. Or was it the twentieth? Very noir and his favorite, not all that different from his own r-dub Mick mug, was a quasi-heroic dirtball named Guns Malone—popular with the ladies, unpopular with the guys, especially bad guys and bad-ass cops—a gritty character. Jaan built that image from vids he’d seen of Guns in action. Just an avatar, but it fit.
The r-dub domestic bunker where most folks live who spend a lot of time in the c-dub is often austere and utilitarian. Jaan’s made most others seem deluxe. The focus was on security first, always. Second, came equipment. He swelled with pride at his formidable collection of quasi-legal weapons. Hygiene came in third. And, well, there was no fourth. His db featured zero outside light and only minimal artificial lighting. Above all, no foo-foo crap. The place gave off a closet-size-mechanic’s-workshop vibe more than a domestic bunker vibe. The way he liked it—all business.
As he prepared to venture out to score a few quarts of caffeinated retro-mud, a mind-con interrupted his reverie. He didn’t recognize the face or the attitude it portrayed, but there was something…
What do you think? A few of you have volunteered to be beta readers (pre-publication reviewers and critics). Thank you. If you haven’t and would like to be a beta reader, just let me know. But please do so only if you can commit to a thoughtful read and provide some specific constructive criticism in return for a free pre-pub Kindle version of the book. Thanks in advance.
2. Title Change: “Tarnished – Surviving the American Dream”
The Kindle version of “Tarnished” has been out for several months. Sales have been okay, not spectacular, and I’m short on reviews. As the old saying goes, “if what you’re doing isn’t working, it’s time to do something else.”
I’ve been told the book is a good read, especially if you like business and military adventure and thriller yarns from the likes Vince Flynn, Brad Thor, and Lee Child (thanks for the inspiration, guys), but with almost 5,000 new books being published daily, it’s a tough gig unless you spend lots of time and money. I’m a bit shy on both.
One comment I’ve received suggested the title might put some book shoppers off. That’s something I can change pretty easily, but only before going to paperback. So here are my thoughts, and I’d appreciate your comments before or after you read the book. At a minimum, I’d suggest you peruse the first few free introductory chapters on Amazon’s “look inside” so you can get a sense of what might be the most appropriate title:
- “Dangerous Dreams”
- “Dangerous Waters”
- “Dangerous Aspirations”
Obviously, I like one word in particular since it’s appropriate for the thriller sub-genre and this story of running from and ultimately confronting danger. One additional also-ran in my mind is “The Long Way Back”, but doesn’t play as well with thriller readers. Your thoughts?
3. New Project: The Narrow Road Seems Curved and Painted”
Premise (draft):
I really don’t like basketball, probably because I don’t understand the game very well. The same was true for poetry. Then I learned the rules, and everything changed. I’m going to suggest that you leverage what I learned. This book will help with that.
While I think my poems are good, I also think I can help you enjoy them and all poetry even more by exposing the sexy anatomy of poetry, as well as describing what was going on when I wrote each piece. Most accomplished poets will tell you it is invaluable to know what the poet was thinking, and what they felt was important.
If you’re an aspiring poet, you might find this peek behind the purple curtain insightful. If you’re an aspiring critic or just an analytical reader, you’ll know when I’m breaking the rules—and you know I will, being a contrarian. You’ll decide for yourself when that works (or not).
And if you’re already an accomplished poet (or author of prose), you might find some new ideas you can use. At the very least, I’m hoping this will be stimulating, whether you choose to devour each piece’s “post-game analysis” or not.
- First, let me ask you this: Why should you bother with this book? Who am I to write a flavor of poetry that might be of interest to you, even grab you by the cerebellum? You don’t even like poetry? Good! So what is different about this little book?
- Allow me to prompt you with a few pre-rehearsed answers: First, I bring with me the discipline of a career in technology. How many poets can claim that? Said another way, I’m analytical as hell. I love attention to detail. Every word is chosen with ridiculous care, but I write at a high level. Plus I’m a watercolor artist and press that mindset into now painting with words. In short (I know… too late), I’m a bit obsessive as well as somewhat irreverent. That’s a good thing for a poet—crafting an exciting picture, not with paint, but with words, and most of them are real words too. And just like that, a poem is born (if it were only that easy).
- Now you as the reader will enjoy painting the rest of that picture for that poem—within your own fertile imagination—with warm or frigid hues, with over-saturated colors or harsh shades of gray, maybe some broad strokes with a rough charcoal texture or latte-smooth gel ink, perhaps reminiscent of a few paintings or drawings or sketches that force your heart to work a little harder, and the entire effect might just pump your own pulse a beat or three higher.
- Besides, what do you have to lose? Is your time so precious that you can’t afford a few hours, maybe spread over a week or three, to take a chance that you might enrich your already sophisticated self? C’mon, hike with me through an offbeat landscape designed to be consumed in bite-size chunks. Maybe just before you fall asleep each night? I know you’re curious. Let’s find out how much, together. Okay, Trooper?
An excerpt from “The Narrow Road Seems Curved and Painted” (available late 2018)
Author’s advice:
You know how to read prose. I’ll assume poetry is new-ish to you. Given that, I suggest you first read this piece slowly, straight through, preferably aloud and alone. Pause slightly at the end of each line, pausing a bit longer when you encounter any punctuation, especially a period.
After reading it at least once, preferably twice (more smoothly the second time, perform it for yourself, let it gush a bit), then and only then, read the section entitled,“Poet’s Notes” that follows the poem.
Compare what you felt reading it with what I felt writing it. Let the words tumble off your mental tongue and emotional lips. Take note of the sounds, the rhythm, how you think of the combinations of words I chose to use, and any feeling the verse evokes in you, no matter how subtle. Most of all, just have fun. Nothing to lose.
Hint: reading this poem pairs nicely with a generous glass of Chardonnay and possibly a few water crackers each slathered with thick little wedges of Tillamook Mushroom Brie (yeah!) on a cool summer evening.
Immortality: Columbia Bar
A rampant Spring screams
at me, this silent and swift river with deadly intent,
as if I’d personally tortured one of her own.
Mostly, she whispers to all who would listen.
Not with noise does she protest, but with poise, she runs deep
at me, and away. With her seminal speed,
on her way to her own ageless but blind dissolution,
I smell her desperation to escape…
to her resolution.
Angered without knowing,
she acquires her fury by running, always running, drawing in suitors
without respite or relief: they’re Willamette, Snake, Clark, Kootenay…
Her pitiless dark bidding is, of course, their will,
while she hoards their power, while she spawns withering empathy.
Control is an illusion at best, maybe a delusion for now,
she tolerates temporal man’s dainty brief touch
with patience… until…
not so much.
From high-desert stream
to elegant Summer’s flow, through a scar on Earth’s cheek,
under fresh zephyrs, to a collector of others’ dreams, of always more,
she forges forward, emboldened, not unsure of what’s ahead,
man-made pauses, stops notwithstanding, to tickle her aggression, when
she finally opens wide her mouth to roar. There she’s accosted
by a lurid tormentor from the West, with no tolerance for arrogance,
no matter the lady’s pedigree or enchanting allure…
or her persistence.
Disgorging her fury
into the very face of that petulant combatant, she thrashes her ambiguous surrender.
Her release, his tormenting embrace, no longer lurks beneath mad silence.
She warns this is private, though all can see—hear—her desperate desire to dominate.
Yet mesmerized mortals cannot comprehend, nor appreciate her virgin fear.
So they stand, insignificant, close at her shoulders, but not too close, to warn others
not to intrude on this intimate exchange, this
violent asymmetrical embrace…
of rapturous release.
Their climax lasts,
but never comes. To these writhing actors, once each of discrete beauty and grace,
there is now no rest, only mania for slaves, to influence: even they can only conceive,
as if their uneasy, near mystical strength in each other’s space
seems little more than vague omens to little women and men who perform their own little opus,
with jaws agape and hearts crackling like soft thin-skinned melons. It’s just Autumn’s cry
in awe of such splendor, no more than vague but compelling alchemy
for the need to pay the price of admission…
for imagined immortality.
Then, Winter’s lethal glory reigns…
Poet’s Notes:
- (Ed: terms used below are all explained in an introductory chapter not included below, “A Fresh Coat of Primer” but is included in the book)
Form: A narrative that follows this great river’s march from the narrow gorge that divides Washington and Oregon to the broad and dangerous bar at river’s end on the Pacific Coast. We also follow it through each of four temperamental seasons.
Foot & Meter: Free verse.
Stanzas: Five 9-line stanzas followed by a final single line.
Rhyme pattern: Not applicable (occasional for effect).
Substitutions: Not applicable.
Composed: July 10, 2018
On my mind:
- The corpulent majesty of the second longest river in the United States clashing with the violent passion of the largest ocean on Planet Earth elicits more emotion in me than I would have imagined.
- This region nurtures the most dramatic and diverse range of ecology in less than 100 miles, from high desert to maritime tropical rain forest. Within that distance, the river’s many moods grabbed me emotionally and compelled me to compose this piece.
- My Coast Guard search and rescue heritage brought back high impact memories, this being one of the most hazardous seagoing areas on Earth.
Critique:
- Is the imagery effective, including a sense of people and place within a story (narrative)?
- For your consideration, I compile here a selection of vivid images from the poem, also to remind myself that I’ve made every attempt to craft effective imagery
- Rampant Spring screams; personally tortured one of her own; her pitiless dark bidding; to elegant Summer’s flow through a scar on Earth’s cheek; she finally opens wide her mouth to roar (one of several rather salacious metaphors); violent asymmetrical embrace; their climax lasts forever, but never comes; with jaws agape and hearts crackling open like soft thin-skinned melons…
- The characters include the river and the ocean (personified) that simultaneously signify a sense of place as well as a rolling change of venue along the river’s course (from the gorge to its mouth at the edge of the Pacific Ocean).
- This movement is the story.
- Is the diction fresh?
- No clichés: except for “swift river” (essential to the scene, and powerful assonance).
- No familiar phrasing: check!
- Oust adjectives that lack overtones: what remains is thick with innuendo (some double entendres, that is, two possible meanings, one of which may be salacious or downright lewd).
- Purge prosaic language, close to prose: I included a few prose-like phrases to support the narrative, but mostly, lots of gaps remain to be filled in (interpreted, imagined) by the reader. That’s part of the fun, right? After all, you and I are in this together!
- Are there sound devices (underlined examples from each stanza)?
- Alliteration: Spring screams; Not with noise; respite or relief; tolerates temporal; Summer’s…scar; forges forward; no longer lurks; desperate desire to dominate; now no rest; notion for the need.
- Assonance: screams at me; swift river; deadly intent; her fury; she hoards their power; fresh zephyrs; stops notwithstanding; petulant combatant; thrashes her ambiguous…; desperate desire; climax lasts; mania for slaves; imagined immortality.
- Consonance: noise does…poise; swift…intent; running…drawing; tolerates…man’s…patience; fresh zephyrs; collector…more; dreams…always; petulant combatant; lurks…silence; comes…actors; omen…men…women; splendor…no more.
- Onomatopoeia: crackling, roar? (I find this sound device (e.g., Bam! Boom!) of limited value in a piece like this).
- Does the poem make use of rhythm?
- Of limited use… by design (free verse) there’s no rhyme, except a few, just for you…)
- The first and last line of each stanza contains precisely three words each. The second to the last line ends with an ellipsis (three dots) to imply an unspoken rhythm. More focus is placed on limited visual symmetry than on rhythm.
- Each line varies from 2 to 8 beats. That’s intentional and is the very definition of the arrhythmic flow of free verse.
- I wanted the poem to flow freely and naturally like a wide meandering river with subtle undercurrents instead of beating like a drum in a marching band.
- Does the poem contain some type of tension?
- Yes… the poem builds up to a violent conflagration between the Pacific Ocean’s waves and its tidal currents as the opposing river current pushing the incredible volume and velocity of the Columbia River, until, at the river’s terminus, until the two forces violate each other. Then comes the battle for dominance directly over the bar (shallow bottom) that “tries” to separate the two, not to mention a bottom that’s constantly shifting underneath all this visceral tension.
- The concept of immortality is introduced in the very first word of the title and is echoed with the adjective imagined as the last word of the last full stanza. Between? All confrontation, and violence, and emotion, and all the other trivia with which we mere mortals paint our perceived reality. Amusing, isn’t it, to be constrained by the brush strokes of trivial time and distance?
- Just what is the essential unity in the poem?
- The power of nature and humanity’s small role in it, despite how self-important we may believe we are.
- Theme or central concern:
- The conflict between two immutable forces is often violent and is seemingly unending.
- Tones, moods, attitudes:
- Personified almost unimaginable forces of nature with a highly charged emotional tone and sexual undertones and suppressed violence (innuendo).
- Attitudes include anger and lethal intent, or so it would seem.
- And finally, the poem comes at you in waves. Each stanza has a general topographical shape that ebbs and flows. The last stanza punctuates the piece with a final admonition: the onset of dread for all who tempt their fate by dancing their way through a bitter battlefield, during the deadliest of times—Winter.
4. “Reading & Writing Fiction Daily” Newsletter
- As I mentioned earlier, this daily newsletter is available exclusively to all my Twitter followers. The feedback has been wonderful and features a small but rather dedicated readership of several hundred lovers of fiction, I’m proud to say.
- This eclectic newsletter includes book reviews, topical issues important to readers and authors in general, but the central theme is the fiction genre and sub-genres. Click here to browse a recent edition or archived issues.
5. Other Projects
By the way, as a reminder, I publish blogs on reading, writing, creative photography, and our lifestyle on the road in an RV which you can peruse here. This is also where these newsletters will be archived in the future.
I’m also producing an anthology of short stories that should be finished later this year. I’ll share an excerpt with you in the next newsletter.
I hope you found this exhaustive tome informative and of interest, and I appreciate your sharing a piece of this author’s dream.
Thank you again for subscribing, and hopefully, I’ll see you down the road… somewhere.
Until then, with pen in hand,
GK
